The anger journal
2025
The Anger Journal is my daily ritual of drawing and writing as a way to process emotions that are too big to swallow. It started with anger, but it became a space to face grief, desire, softness, rage, healing, all of it. Each piece is raw, unapologetic, and personal, but also universal: it’s about transforming what hurts into something that breathes, bleeds, and maybe even empowers. It’s not just art,it’s survival on paper.
i’m drowning
20.06.25
No words today.
Short night.
No motivation
I feel so empty and so full at the same time.
Exhausted.
But I’ve done it before.
What doesn’t kill you
makes you stronger.
Or more shattered.
🎵Two feet- I feel like drowning
I don’t need to do more
25.06.25
I don’t need to do more
I need to be true.
I’m tired of trying to be the best version of myself.
You know what?
Today, I give up.
Today, I’m going to be a bitch.
I want to eat chips naked at an orgy because I can.
I’m trashy.
I’m going to fart in the bed sheets.
What?
I don’t need advice from a guy in his thirties who still doesn’t own a fucking bedframe.
I’m not skinny, and I pull a Britney every other week.
But cut me some slacks,
What do you want me to be?
🎵Lola Young- Messy
I found an old picture of myself
30.06.25
Sometimes, it’s important to look at the past and realize how much we’ve grown.
I learnt:
-I’ll never make compromises about who I am.
- I am not alone, you just need to find your people.
- Sometimes it’s better to sit down and listen instead of trying to take all the space.
Trust your gut feelings more often; when something feels wrong, it’s often because it is.
- I am the love of my life, it doesn’t matter how hard I fall in love, I will always choose myself first.
🎵2WEI, Edda Hayes- Survivor
Build a home
02.07.25
Well, my brother is going to be a father.
How wild is that?
My baby brother is going to have a baby.
Time flies.
Weird.It makes me face my own mortality.
But Actually, it also gives me hope.
I could not have a child, that would be terrible.
But I know he will be a great dad.
And this thought alone restores my faith in humanity.
Not that so long ago he was still a kid doing the Naruto run.
And now the child is having a daughter.
Maybe she will be a ginger?
He said: “ She will already have an example of what it means to be a strong woman thanks to you”.
And I cried.
🎵The Cinematic Orchestra - To Build A Home
I’m annoyed today
03.07.25
It’s really a bad idea to fuck up with me when I’m ovulating.
I feel so confident and powerful that I am unstoppable.
I’m going to be mean if you stay on my way.
And yet, I didn’t set the bar that high.
I want someone that is:
Aware of their issues and actively working on it
Willing to grow and build something together
Able to have deep talks and emotional intelligence
Good at sex.
But well, for now, I guess I’m just okay with the good sex part.
It’s summer, I’m hot, and I want to enjoy life.
🎵Beyoncé- Diva
Hot girl summer
06.07.25
Hot gym girl summer.
I am going to lay down at the pool today and do nothing.
If I wanted to be a bad person, I would be good at it.
Being a good person in this world is hard.
Being kind is a way to resist.
I want to surround myself with people with soft hearts
Killing with kindness.
Radical softness is punk.
I realized I’m still stuck between anger and acceptance.
But I feel I’m done without having to prove it.
Anger gives you the fuel to let go of what hurts, acceptance gives you the grace to move on without punishing yourself.
🎵the Specials - Do Nothing
Don’t make me cry for two
08.07.25
Once I told one of my ex:
“You have to cry.
If you don’t, I’m gonna cry for two”.
And it keeps happening
Maybe it’s another thing I need to add to my future partner list:
I can’t be with someone that can’t cry.
Everyone thinks I’m strong.
Well, true strength is about accepting who you are.
I know it’s scary, it’s way harder to get rejected when you show your true self.
But I can’t be with someone too insecure to live their life fully.
🎵Julie London- Cry me a river
Sanctify My Wounds
18.07.25
I am not scared anymore.
I’m exorcizing my demons.
Some of them are benevolent.
Sometimes, you have to open up,
Unlock the trap inside you.
Not all demons want to hurt you
Some of them are just waiting to be seen.
Healing is about making space for the bad spirits you buried.
You don’t have to be straight with me,
I see what’s underneath your mask.
Sanctify my body with pain,
Sanctify the love that you crave.
🎵Years & Years- Sanctify
Anaconda of anguish
20.07.25
I feel late and overwhelmed
I forgot my eggplants in the oven.
I’m surviving in chaos.
Every room I step into is a battlefield.
Doing my best to escape my thoughts,
But I’m trapped in my own head.
The grip tightens, and I’m suffocating.
Anaconda of anguish
Eel of sadness.
I can feel it whistling in my ears
Well, more like howling, roaring.
Hollow one,
With inverted tongue.
🎵Moses Sumney- Doomed
Your Echo in the Water
21.07.25
Maybe there is a world
Where the two of us can sing together.
But I haven’t found it yet.
And maybe I don’t want to.
I would like to stop looking,
just for a minute,
And rest.
Rest beneath the tender rain,
My heart wide open, howling at the moon.
All I will hear would be the water,
echoing and flooding the voids inside me.
And I would finally feel at peace,
And I will give the night a soft quiet smile.
🎵Explosions in the Sky- Your Hand in Mine
Wax and Light
25.07.25
Wax dripping down my temples
I bury my fingers in the still warm liquid,
Exquisite crust around them.
Half-closed eyes, soft reassuring warmth.
Candlelight as a beacon of hope
Melting thoughts,
Burning heart.
Everything else is meaningless.
I was born only to live this “here and now” with myself.
Without a thought to my fading eyesight and aching body.
🎵Zhavia- Candlelight
we were both so pretty
28.07.25
Like a rollercoaster that just keeps going up.
I want to fan the problems away as far as possible.
I can’t let the music stop,
Even if the notes are dissonant.
The sound of the beat masking the screams.
Surely, it’s nicer to be depressed under the sun, but even the sky won’t bend.
It’s over now
(...)
Miss me, say you miss me.
It’s such a pity,
We were both so pretty.
🎵Billie Eilish- L’AMOUR DE MA VIE
A drop for each bruise
31.07.25
A serene smile
Cold revenge tastes the sweetest.
Tonight, I’ll be wrapped in my finest scent, just for you:
Arsenic, lead and belladonna.
We will return every blow you ever gave us.
A drop for each bruise.
They couldn’t leave, so they stirred their freedom into your tea.
So be grateful.
All we want now is just alimony and a signature.
🎵Mitski- Drunk walk home
The one who stayed
04.08.25
Sometimes, all you need is a hug to continue your journey.
And someone to take you apart.
Strumming my pain with his fingers.
I deserve to be seen,
Not left feeling like something shameful.
I realize it now:
I was desperately trying to connect with someone who was completely out of reach,
Stranger to their own soul.
Your “sorry” can’t fix this, but I no longer need it to.
I’m the one who feels sorry for you.
For everything you couldn’t say.
For all the love you never learned how to hold.
I’m moving forward, you are still dancing in circles with the ghosts you never dared to face.
I’m not angry anymore.
Not really.
Just done.
And I’m okay with that.
🎵Fugees- Killing me softly with His song
out of place
11.08.25
We don’t give a shit about being fashion icons or trendsetters,
But we will always be flamboyant.
We said “We are not here to judge”, but the gavel is already lifted for your trial.
Poor,
Lost,
Out of place,
Broken,
Disillusioned,
The world may burn,
But we will keep shining.
🎵David Bowie - Heroes
I didn’t fail, I chose myself
20.08.25
Next time: I will choose someone who fucks me.
And not only to explore their dirty fantasies,
Our bodies will meet each other;
Sex will become a language in itself where nothing else matters,
Where we don’t need to talk,
Where we understand each other,
Where one glance means:
“I’m not going anywhere, I will always be your safe place.”
I am proud of who I have become
I didn’t fail, I chose myself.
If I could, I would hug this body,
I’m wondering if someone could ever be good enough,
Could you ever love me better than I do?
Or maybe it’s not about better, but it’s about different.
🎵Miley Cyrus- Island
Fueled by rage
21.08.25
Laying down in bed covered in my own blood.
Not really the Venus you were excpecting.
All this suffering to produce the offspring I will never give you.
Today it’s Milka and chips in bed and I’m okay with that.
The noise of the world is too much to bear.
It’s okay, I will do better tomorrow.
Dried hemoglobin,
I can’t stand any fabric on my nipples
The smell of the street makes me nauseous.
I will do better tomorrow.
🎵Sohodolls - Period
I am no mother, I am no bride
05.09.25
I came for the crown and I won’t leave without it.
I can’t have everything now, but I will be patient.
I am no mother, I am no bride, I am King.
If I can’t do it yet, I fake it and I make it.
I will be your ruler.
You won’t see me coming from the dark
Never forget: a good man is just a mediocre woman.
I will be plotting in silence,
Heads will roll, watch out for my rise.
You won’t see me coming,
but you will know that I am somewhere,
lurking in the shadow of your ego.
I will contemplate your downfall,
Your lineage will end with you,
The crowd will cheer my name and you will bend the knee.
I’m no mother, I’m no bride, I’m King.
🎵Florence + The Machine - King
The pigs are out
21.09.25
2:00 am
They are sixteen years old,
The pigs are out.
His tongue hangs out like a dog.
I snap.
Backpack in hand,
I drop between him and them.
He freezes, he mumbles something.
I’m not your “sister” nor your “baby”, tonight I am your nightmare.
Adrenaline, fear, fury, I stay.
The men in the wagon look away.
Silence is complicity.
Look away now, we will teach you what happens when the prey becomes flames,
Don’t be surprise when you burn.
🎵2WEI - Warriors
If only you had known
25.11.25
I write love letters so I don’t have to write a suicide note.
So this is my late love letter for you.
If only you had known how deeply you were loved.
We were ready to hold your hand at every step,
We were ready to catch you every time you fell.
If only you had understood,
That we were ready to fight to turn every tear into a burst of laughers,
If only you had seen yourself through our eyes, you would have seen the light through the darkness.
I’ve always preferred remorse over regret, a broken heart over a heart not beating
I just hope you fell our warmth now, soft and steady, the way love should always be.
🎵Lykke Li - Possibility